Sunday, July 27, 2014

Beauty in a day.....

Thank you for all of your very kind comments and for not telling me what I should do next. Sometimes choosing to do nothing is something. We will see how it all plays out. The dad and I both said to each other that we don't know what to do anymore..."so maybe we stand still for a minute and see what happens." They tell you if you are lost in the woods, stay in one place.

I so appreciate knowing that you all are out here reading and that you care about me and my family and that you pray for us or think good, just a stranger out here in the world trudging along like everyone else.

I feel at peace right now just being still, for today. 

The beauty I have been able to see today in my world.....

We have a massive forest fire burning in our area. Today I went to our Red Cross evacuation site to donate some supplies and I was so blessed by what I saw there. My little community is amazing! So many responded by dropping everything and came immediately to the evacuation centers to direct traffic, accept the donations, make meals, show the evacuees where to go to rest and get something to eat... people were posting online that their horse trailers were hitched and ready to pick up and transport horses, there were many offers to shelter animals both large and small. In the middle of my drama, good people are rising to the occasion all around me.

This big guy came to help us today.

I spent the day back to school shopping with little one and her best friend and her family. Little one was so careful to stay within the budget I gave her. I saw grace and consideration in her today. I spotted a shirt on our way out of one store and said how cute it was and she replied, "Yeah I really liked that too, but I was already at my limit." I told her to get it anyway.....we weren't too far past our limit. I just love the person she is turning into. Refuses all makeup, no pierced ears, just wants to be natural.....I hope she stays this way.

A reader here, Liz, showed some of us mom's over to a blog called The Privileged Addict. He says exactly what he thinks and could be construed as almost abrasive.....but the thing I absolutely love about his writing is he is all about taking full personal responsibility and about doing whatever work we as individuals need to do to be healthy.....spiritually, physically, and mentally. I ordered his book and am reading that. His focus thus far is the 12 steps and the need for a spiritual awakening. His belief is that addiction is a spiritual problem. He says, "I can't simply remove my addiction. I must replace it with something as powerful as the addiction itself. And I discovered that by taking consistent right action, something quite mystical occurs.

I also have been reading Beyond Addiction and to preface my opinion, I have to say I am not very far into it, page 21, and it could be the place I am in personally right now....but I feel like its ridiculous. So far the examples given have been short term addictions, or alcohol addictions. I know....addiction is addiction, but a kid with a needle in their arm (especially MY kid) is somehow more alarming to me than a housewife who drinks too much wine each night. (No offense intended to my beautiful blogger friends who were wine drinkers...I love you all and you know who you are. I think the roots are similar but you all are on a slow boat and my girl is on a freaking Lear Jet.)  The first 21 pages focus on ways that we can *help* our addicts, by communicating gently and in kindness,  "For some addicts, moderation is a reasonable and viable goal that leads to eventual total abstinence." I will learn here, how to recognize, reward, invite, and support turns for the better.

I've worked so hard at learning how to let go but love unconditionally. How the hell do I let go, love unconditionally, but also recognize, reward, invite and support turns for the better, but not enable!? It is such a quandary and always such a fine line we are walking. That last sentence above exhausted me just by reading it. But I was just looking through this book, I realized I'm not even out of the introduction yet. So maybe it will get better.

Anyway, I have a long work week ahead of me. I always find it interesting that when things get tough here, work picks up and I am removed from the equation. God's protection for all of us. lol

God we invite you to walk with us and give us YOUR wisdom, because our own fails us so often.
Bless us all.....


SoberMomWrites said...

Honestly I can't imagine comparing myself to your girl. Yes, my drinking was out of control as are a lot of us wine drinkers but when I read the first few chapters of "Beyond Addiction", I honesty thought about you and your girl and that one size does NOT fit all. I also put the book down and haven't picked it up again so I'll be interested to hear if it gets any better.

I am speaking only about myself right now and not about anyone else and their addiction. We are each very different.

But to think that my addiction comes anywhere close to a child with a needle in her arm is lunacy! And yes I am fully aware that your girl is no longer a child but guess what? She was when this mess all started and she'll always be YOUR child.

Whew! Guess you struck a nerve. Correction - guess that book struck a nerve. I'll shut up now.


Anonymous said...


I am glad that you are sounding like you are in a better place this week. Sending love across the miles to you.


n bloom said...

I like what you said - Sometimes choosing to do nothing is something. That is a lesson that took me a long time to learn. I was always so ready to jump in and save the day, erase the drama and try to make everything "normal." Looking back, I realize that I got in the way of letting my son look for his own solutions.

Syd said...

I know that there are various "definitions" of the alcoholic even in the BB. I don't think that drug addicts are the same as alcoholics. The root causes for both may be the same but the progression of the disease is different as is the detoxing. All very different. But what both do to the people who love those affected is the same--we become an unmanageable mess.

Mary Christine said...

I wish you could stop reading all those books! Maybe it is time to pick up a happy fictional novel?

Addiction is not addiction, is not addiction, is not addiction. Alcoholics are not necessarily alcohol addicts. We are a very different breed.

My son is in California with a team fighting fires. I don't know the geography of the state well enough to know if he is near you.