I have known for more than a week that we were back in the game of active addiction. I haven't wanted to post because to be quite honest, I don't want to hear what I "should" be doing. I feel like the lover whose partner was having an affair and everyone knew but her. I knew....but I kept hoping. What can I say.....I am her mother first, before anything else I am her mother.
I've been doing this a long long time and I know what my options are. The dad and I will figure it out yet again. Treatment is no longer an option.....at least through our insurance. She used up all of her chances there. We have no money left so anything she wants to do will be on her.
It used to be that she was young enough that she could regain the time she has lost. She is getting older now though. She hasn't worked, hasn't gone to school, and its becoming harder and harder to think about her having a "late start" by launching forward at some point. What would she tell a prospective employer about the past 9 years of unemployment? How do you account for that lost time? Of course a job has always been the least of our concerns.
I got tangled up in a debate about Ibogaine on another mom's blog. I think what really makes me sad is the desperation we all feel to save our children. We would spend our last dime on flying them to some remote part of the world to be given a root that supposedly resets their brain and "cures" them of addiction. Maybe its true, and if it is and its being kept from our U.S. families due to "big pharma" and our children are dying... its a crushing thought. On so many levels. Flying our girl to another part of the world for treatment.....we might as well be asked to find a way to fly her to the moon at this point. Its gone on too long, we've used up every resource.
God show us the way.... we need you.