Saturday, April 5, 2014

Stories of redemption

I was feeling so depressed earlier today. We had some my girl drama, nothing horrible, but just tiring, mundane, needing help, typical chaos that seems to go with the territory.

I drove by a French restaurant in our area....the only one in our small town....and saw couples going inside and it just made me so sad for a minute. People are walking around living their lives, going out to eat dinner, meeting friends, while we are not. We are doing a million other things, but they are survival things. It feels like life is a lot of work most of the time. I was feeling like we don't fit in anywhere, we are downers, we don't know how to have fun, we are losers and no one likes us. I was sinking fast. lol

Tonight was an Alanon speaker meeting and then an open AA speaker meeting immediately following. I was determined to go and I was so glad that I did. I felt so much better afterward. The stories I hear there of grace, of surrender, of working through fears, of being alone and then finding "our people," of forgiveness, of miracles, of redemption and hope, change me. I heard such powerful shares tonight....I saw my friends, people who are dealing with many of the same things I am dealing with on a daily basis, who understand. The Alanon speaker shared about feeling sometimes like she doesn't really fit in even with her Alanon family.....she said, "But thats just me working through my fear." I needed to hear that simple answer tonight. I needed to hear the AA speaker's story of forgiveness, faith, and honesty tonight. I needed to see God's grace working and alive and well in all of these people's lives tonight so that I could be reminded that its always there for me too, even when I feel like a loser.

I am always touched so deeply by what I see in those rooms....broken people being made whole. Its a beautiful thing.



mary christine said...

It is such a beautiful thing.

Anonymous said...

I feel like that so many days in my life.we buried our son Billy 1 3/4 years ago and my older son is struggling again with addiction, I listen and watch others , comparing myself and our dysfunctional life. But I know in my heart GOD would not want me to live like this.. I'm afraid when I die I'll hear the words..Why didn't you trust me? I loved you so...from GOD..knowing if I live my faith I must do as Mary did, have courage to live life on life's term and do it joyfully with a smile. You write so beautifully, I look forward to reading when you post. Prayers for you and your family.

SoberMomWrites said...

I love how when we need something God just plops it down in our laps. If our hearts are open - we can receive it and let His love just wash over us and heal all that ails.

So glad you have an open heart.

Hugs to you my friend...

madyson007 said...

I feel broken a good part of everyday. I don't know how to explain it to friends... they can sometimes visibly see how stressed I am but never really understand the reasons behind it. Joy is hard to come by lately.

Anonymous said...

We are ALL broken people. Everyone has something. If we could see inside, we could know that we are all alike and God loves us in spite of our broken parts.

Hattie Heaton said...

I love speaker meetings. Some of the stories are so fascinating that I get lost in "the story" that I forget about the person is actually living a terrible existence with a family feeling every minute of it. But, what I take away is that even though some people suffer for years and years, they typically slowly, finally, after many stumbles find their way to health and sobriety. They find their way to family and jobs and vacations. It is slow work to get sober. But, it is possible. Shame, fear and despair are all from Satan. Anytime you feel any of those things, just remember their source. Praying.....always.