I have nothing to say......but here is some of my nothingness. :o)

I read this blog most days. There is no therapeutic value in it in regards to recovery or figuring out how to do life, other than Mr. John Gray makes me laugh, his stories make me feel calm and I like reading there.

I read this blog too and Mary just shares her life, her days....she is a recovering person, but there are lots of things that she focuses on in her blog. Her faith, health and fitness, her work, depression, interpersonal relationships, and recovery. I love reading about the rhythms of her life.

We have a snow day today but the snow is only falling but not sticking. Its like the perfect snow day. Little one said, "this is the school's April Fools joke on us." lol We stayed in bed until 9, all snuggled and warm. I got up and made coffee.....its a really perfect morning, other than I have no motivation to do anything.

Which brings up my next point. I am so tired. If I wasn't taking my full dose of anti-depressant already I would swear I was battling a depression. But I refuse to give into that idea. Instead I think my time off of work has run its course. I need a routine. I need to have to get up and be somewhere. By the time I go back it will have been a month break. A month is a long time and now we are having to supplement hubs checks with money from our savings which is not very big to begin with.  Fortunately for me, he is fine with that and has not one time insinuated "Why don't you get your growing behind back to work?"

My new schedule is really perfect for being available for little one, but it won't be enough money and it has me set in a couple jobs that are fine, but not where my heart really is, which is palliative care. I was thinking about this....and I came to the conclusion that that is ok for now. Its not forever. That being available to my little one is more important at this age than anything else I could be doing. She needs to be the priority for now. She is 13 which is such a prickly and fragile age. She needs to just see me close by and know that I am there.

My floors are a mess and I'm not cleaning them until all of these ridiculous dogs go home. Oh wait....5 of them live HERE.

My girl....is pushing forward. I don't know what else to say. She's still in the game, still working at sobriety, doing out patient, counseling, suboxone, seeing her sponsor, but I think its like slodging through thick mud for her. 

And I will leave you with this thought....did you know that Suboxone is constipating?!  Last night we were talking about how opiate users are usually constipated. I never even thought of THAT....but yeah, at work I use a lot of opiate medications with my dying clients and bowel care is a huge part of that because they get constipated. Something about the idea of all of our opiate addicted kids being unable to poop just struck me as so funny. Not in a vindictive way....Noooo. They have their own crosses to bear.

Bless us all. Our beautiful (constipated) kids are all in my prayers every day.
Annette