I am working right now on a Hospice job, caring for a woman whom the first time I met her, was by all appearances in good health. She had recently been diagnosed and immediately entered into Hospice, treating her disease was not even a consideration it was so far advanced. During that first meeting we talked about our love of books, spirituality, our belief that death can be a beautiful transition and what she would like me to help her with on her journey toward the end of her life. We did a lot of those things, but her health has changed quickly. She is now very close to the end.....but what a joy filled, graceful woman she has been, even through some awful moments. She often hums in her sleep, sings in her dreams, talks about the nice people she see's....our days are spent keeping her comfortable and playing soft music for her. We have had spring like weather here in Ca. so her windows are wide open and she has fresh air blowing through her room, a bouquet of beautiful lilies sit on her table beside her bed. Yet again, I feel so blessed to be allowed to share this journey with this family.
At this particular job, a caregiver was brought in when the needs increased, who is training her young 21 year old son to be a caregiver. I was skeptical at first and concerned. I didn't want my client to be in any sort of uncomfortable position where her caregiver was unprepared for her care. Would he be able to handle whatever got thrown at him? What about dealing with her private needs? What about her pain meds??!! (I know.....but I did worry about that. Those are a hot commodity on the street.)
Oh my gosh, what a blessing this young boy has been! He isn't squeamish....handles all sorts of bodily fluids with no hesitation, can and will do anything that needs doing, is humble and teachable, receives instruction with grace....will check in on my shift with a text asking about our client, "Hows my girl?" He told me this morning that he often has trouble sleeping so he uses meditation and he showed me his particular version....he said he googled meditations for sleep. lol
It is so refreshing! A young adult who is relatively together, healthy, kind hearted and gentle, he's patient and moves slowly with her. It chokes me up when I watch them work together sometimes.
And I think it is so meaningful to me, because I have seen the other side...I have seen how dark a young person's life can be. How lost and self absorbed.
With that said, my lost child's gentle transformations are brilliantly beautiful also....because they have been hard earned. They didn't come easy for her and the impact that her life experiences have had on her, while immensely painful, some terrifying, some humiliating, they also have lead her toward new life if she so chooses. Today that is her choice. Beauty is there amongst the brokenness of our lives. For all of us.
"Only after disaster, can we be resurrected." Chuck Palahniuk
~Today is the first in a rare couple of days off. The dad took little one to the movies.....a big 3 hour movie! Yay for long movies!! I straightened my office, am doing laundry (it seems like I am always doing laundry,) paid bills, I have a candle burning, a cup of coffee....my girl is on her way home for the night. The dad has a snowboarding day planned for mid week....little one will miss school, my girl is excited to go, big brother will meet them up there...this is huge. We have thankfully learned to go into such a day with no expectations. It will play out as it will and that will be good enough.
Love to all.....