First off, thank you all for your wonderful and very kind comments on my post yesterday. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The minute I made my mind up, voila! I was at peace once again. Amazing how that works. I don't know about all of you....but my gut reactions to things are pretty trustworthy. I have pretty good instincts based on what my innards speak to me. If something gets me all out of my peace zone and I am not able to settle myself with what I know....like, "you are afraid, but step by step you will be ok," then I know I am heading off in a direction that is not part of the bigger plan for me. I can be afraid, or sad, or angry, but still know what the next right thing is for myself, because I can feel it in my insides. Your words of kindness meant so much.
Now for the good and kind people....besides all of you. My girl's new counselor is wonderful. She has been spiraling in her depression. This is the typical progression. He told her to make an appointment with her psychiatrist for a med change. She kept meaning too...but that too, is part of the progression. We have done this go around for many years now. Part of the depression is this inability to get herself motivated enough to make a phone call, answer the phone, get out of bed. So a couple weeks passed with no appointment being made. She went in for her counseling appointment and they had a good talk. Later he called her and said, "I made an appointment for you for tomorrow at 6." She was *graduating* from phase 2 of her OP program that night but he said, "this is more important....go the next night to pick up your grad slip."
What this tells me is that this kind man saw this as a medical condition. Not just laziness, not just rebelliousness, not just being a "loser junky." He did for her what she couldn't do for herself. There was no condemnation, no clucking his tongue and shaking his head in disappointment. No asking, "How bad do you want this? How important is this to you?" This is the FIRST time in all of our years of doing this that we have encountered someone (other than yours truly) who took action on her behalf just because it needed to be done. Plain and simple. In my opinion this was such a compassionate act.
One of the things that I am MOST grateful for through this journey are the acts of kindness that my girl has been the recipient of. Especially the acts of kindness when she is at her sickest. The nurse who hugged her skinny little self on her way out the door this last time she went to her dr to ask for a referral to the chemical dependency program. The nurse in the ER room who shared her own AA journey and said, "Its just how *we* are honey. Take the help." The girl who came out to the car the first time she ever entered treatment...."Come inside with me. You will never have to feel like crap again." The extended hands, the non-judgement, the camaraderie of fellow addicts who are deep in their recovery.
Unfortunately, there has been far more of the negative... BUT the simple acts of kindness from strangers to my broken child will stay with me forever. I will *never* forget them. Someone who loved my kid who didn't have to. It wasn't expected of them....they just did it.
How can we nurture more of this in our world? I think just by each of us choosing to see broken people as human beings. Fallible, sometimes very ill, beautiful, human beings....with the potential for greatness and healing. Greatness in my world is as simple as choosing to get up out of bed and head out to your meeting. Choosing for today to do the next right thing one more time.