Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Looking in the mirror

I have a client right now, whose daughter drives me bat shit crazy. For many many reasons that I won't list here. I was thinking about why this woman gets under my skin so much, why is there so much I disagree with her about....and I had to admit because she reminds me of myself about 10 years ago. A fear driven control freak martyr. I almost choked when I had that awareness. Was I really that bad? Ever? Noooooo, maybe. Probably. God forgive me!

That and she asks for my "professional" opinion, I share it, and she always finds fault with it, why it won't work. Which then triggers in me all of those feelings of not being good enough...and wanting to justify why "I most certainly know more than YOU do!"

Now I am praying for grace to love her where she is at. The job is likely ending soon anyway...they have decided to place their mom in a facility, but I want to walk through it to the end with kindness and compassion for that daughter.....even though she affects me like nails on a chalkboard. Oh Lord, help me! 

Deep breath/heavy sigh


Mary Christine said...

I can't imagine that you were ever so argumentative. Be kind to yourself. It will be over soon. :-)

SoberMomWrites said...

Oooo - I HATE it when I get aggravated at someone and it's because I see myself in them...ugh!

Well...you're not that way now and you're a loving and compassionate caregiver...even if she can't see it.


Signe said...

I think fear is a huge motivator. I think she is afraid and probably her fear is muted when she is proven right in her mind. People are so fragile. I love that she was placed in your path. Someone who is so in tune with herself and others that you pray for her instead of crushing her spirit. How lucky she and her mom are to have you spend some time in their lives.

Syd said...

I get this. I've heard over and over, if you spot it, you've got it. So I realize when someone grates on me, it's because I recognize that we both have the same shortcomings--and most likely it is controlling behavior.