Remember the family of men who was trying to put together care for their mom, girlfriend, friend, room mate? How it all seemingly fell through? Well it didn't and they ended up waiting for me for 6 weeks to become available to care for her. In that 6 weeks my circumstances changed drastically.....I quit a couple jobs, changed my whole schedule so that I could be home during the days....but because I felt obligated because they had been waiting for me, and because the head of the senior support program for our county referred me to them, I am now going in to their home twice a week. Through various circumstances I am still working about 6 hours, 2 days a week on top of the 45 hours at night. Thats ok I suppose (read: really its not ok) ....I sleep at the night job off and on so its not like its hard labor or being awake and on my toes constantly. I just don't like feeling pushed into something and I do and I know that only I can change it.
The biggest problem right now, is that once again I have been referred to as patronizing for being kind, for trying to engage and connect. I don't know how else to do what I do. I am who I am and I said as much to the second son. I asked for his input on how to connect with "the most intelligent woman" he has ever known, if he feels like my methods are not a good fit. I am NOT the most intelligent woman he will have ever met. I am just me. I am not up to the minute on current events and politics. Again, I am just me. My focus is on my little circle of clients and families and children....both adult and littles, who rely on my input. I am just a lowly 15.00 an hour caregiver! My big joy is to bring her solutions for some of her physical issues, special organic shea butter lotion for her dry skin, to pick blackberries with her and make a cobbler...that is me. If that is patronizing, then so be it. I don't know what else to do. I am planning on giving it two weeks.....if its doesn't improve, I am stopping.
Other than that, I am busy letting other people live their lives and not sharing my every thought with them. This alone is a full time job for me.
Still praying for our kids.....Mama whose child OD'd this last week, you in particular, if you still are reading here, your child is in my thoughts these days. I held onto the picture you sent me this morning and prayed and sent love and healing vibes your way. Hang in there friend.....