Thursday, July 11, 2013

Phone calls

When people's kids go crazy or they discover they are addicted to drugs, often times they call me. My name is out there in the mental health community and the parent of an addict recovery community, on phone lists all over our county.

I recently received a call from a friend....these are the hardest. Her daughter who has never given them a moments trouble, is in so very deep. I won't go into details, but it is so out of character and so horrifying, the depths that she has dropped to. I was speechless and kept asking, "How can this be? How on earth did she find her way to this place?" I can only compare it to if someone called and told me little one was out doing this stuff. Its beyond what our brains can comprehend.

I referred them to some free clinics, gave them info on detoxing if they couldn't get a bed, advice to go straight to the ER if they feel like its more than they can handle, NA's hotline number, and told her to call if she needed anything. Then I spent a couple days crying. I have known this girl since she was a preschooler. She and my girl were little girl friends. She is so gifted, beautiful, everything you want a daughter to be. All I can think of is they have just begun this long journey and they have no idea what they are in for.

To top off my ebbing mood I found an old picture of my girl on Facebook. It was taken in 2008. I think she was in treatment at that time for her trouble had begun already, but not the intense drug addictions. Her eyes literally twinkled in the picture, her cheeks are full and round, her hair is straightened and kept up, she had makeup on. I looked at it next to one that I took yesterday. 5 years have taken their toll on my own beautiful brilliant girl.

Today, I HATE addiction. I hate that its taking the lives of our kids....figuratively and literally. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I will keep praying though, because even when I feel discouraged and tired, God is still in charge. God still has a plan for each individual child of His.



Cindy said...

Oh my heart just goes out to this family as they begin down this long painful road. And my heart goes out to all of us moms as we remember who are children were and live with who they are now. I hate drugs and I hate addiction...they have stolen our children from us and it just plain sucks!!

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness they have someone like you to listen to them and try to guide them. Tori

Hattie Heaton said...

I can't tell you how many times I have had the same "I hate addiction" rant....For me it is a constant struggle to keep letting go of expectation. I seem to get in more trouble thinking about what I think should happen. It is hard to hear of another lovely soul being hijacked by the disease of addiction. I'm sorry about your friend.

Mary Christine said...

It's hellish, but we get through it with the help of God.

My daughter and I were at an AA retreat a couple of years ago. One of my old friends, who also happens to be very old, came by when we were at dinner and said "Your daughter looks like she could be your mother." Meth does terrible things to a woman's face (and teeth). And I don't care how old you are, you shouldn't go around saying things like that!

Mrs. Dubose said...

Omg! I HATE it, too. More than anything in life. Take care.

Tori said...

They are so fortunate to have you to talk to. Someone you knew their child before drugs took over. Our children are often judged as worthless junkies and it breaks my heart. If they only knew our children prior to drugs they would know how truly beautiful they are. I couldn't think of anyone better for them to talk to.

Signe said...

This breaks my heart. Addiction is like a mosquito--all it does is hurt and spread the potential for sickness and death. I hate it. I hate what it does to everyone involved. I think my heart stopped a little when I read what you wrote. Your friend's daughter sounds like my own (and yours and all of ours) who would ever think this could happen? Ever?

Syd said...

I know that she is fortunate to have you be there to answer questions and guide the parents to resources. I don't know how things go so wrong that someone who seems to have everything can be brought to nothing. Perhaps it is some kind of inner sickness such as a mental illness or a learning disorder that brings people to such despair that they turn to drugs and alcohol. I certainly don't know but it seems that there is a lot of unhappiness out there in so many forms.