Friday, June 21, 2013

Thank you....

Thank you everyone. The comments to yesterday's post and the private emails I received, made me cry. Also, just to always be walking in honesty with y'all, that picture is NOT our garden. lol That is a picture off of google. Our garden is a little hodge podge of garden boxes. I did just pick 4 beautiful zucchinis yesterday from our little plot. We planned fencing yesterday to keep the deer out and we both agreed it needed an archway to enter through. That will have morning glories growing up and over....and maybe even some moon flowers Signe. :o)

Initial steps....yes, this is what these are. Thank you Pammie for putting it to words for me. It is a process. Its not a one day your using, the next day your not. For a long time I thought it went like that, I thought it *should* go like that. Because that is how I am....I think in right and wrong, black and white, and yes and no....I am learning that very few things in life that include people, work that way. And apparently that is how this is playing itself out, at least for us at this point. There are lots of slips and falls, fits and starts, and get ups and try agains. Her fortitude amazes me that she keeps trying. It would be so much easier to just keep using at this point. It is very difficult to build a life out of nothing, several years behind schedule. But she keeps trying, bless her heart. For me it includes tapping into a level of patience and trust I never knew were possible.

I met with my NAMI parent friends last night....oh it was so nice. One of them brought their daughter who has suffered terribly. It was just so wonderful to see her doing well enough that she wanted to be out with us. Everyone had their stories to share. Some happy and some not. The most wonderful part was that we all got it, there is no judgement in that group, we just all care about each other and our kids.

I am off to a new day. I hope you all find some joy in the day that lies ahead. I get to celebrate one of my client's 92nd birthday today with her with a gourmet cupcake and a bouquet of big happy sunflowers.

Much love to all

PS: The strawberry patch was not dug up. She couldn't decide where to put it and wanted to wait for me. This is how a lot of things go for her.....making a decision is hard. Worrying about it being the right decision, thinking of every angle, until it has all been thought through so much, you can't move and nothing gets done. Today we will choose a spot together and dig in.


Signe said...

I think that one of the most important observations I have about your writing is that you can't make a judgement on where you should be or how your life should be going based on what everyone else is doing. I think when you do that,progress is hindered and may be over looked or minimized. I also understand the not being able to make a decision, it occurs here to varying degrees. Mostly it comes across in a choice situation. Do you want this or this? "I don't care" is usually the response. I have started forcing a choice. I think it's important. Your daughter seems to be rediscovering herself one baby step at a time. I think it's wonderful.

Mary Christine said...

Oh sobriety can be so messy. Especially when further complicated with mental illness. Both my daughter and I have struggled with this.

I sometimes look at my daughter and her life and wonder how she could possibly be clean and sober and living this way..... then I only have to remember my own early sobriety (first 10 years).

Addiction-A Mothers Perspective said...

I'm so glad that your daughter is staying strong in her fight. It definitely is a process, and one that can't be rushed. So we take one step at a time, praying for grace and strength sufficient for each day.
I'm glad you were able to get together with your NAMI parent friends. Having friends with whom you can be completely honest, who "get it," and who won't judge is priceless.
Blessings and peace to you and your daughter.

Anonymous said...

I just read your post about the garden and your daughter. My son, Billy, loved to garden, he felt one is closest to GOD in a garden. He would be out there for hours and would help others in planting their gardens. That was a beautiful post.
Maybe GOD is talking to your daughters soul quietly as she digs.