Thursday, June 27, 2013

Life Lesson #1,809

I am not indispensable. How silly arrogant that after all of this time I still get tripped up thinking that I am. With or without me the world will continue to spin on its axis and people will find their balance!

Last night was my last night ever with my "little grumpy old man." He spent that last night-up-all-night-long angrily banging around his house looking for a bill. I had to call this morning to verify that the bill had been paid and ask that they send a receipt to him. It was sad to watch him, but it confirmed to me that I do not have the personal emotional resources to meet his needs anymore.

The good news is that the family has hired not one, but two new caregivers for him which means he will be alone a lot less. Not to mention that the adult kids have committed to be there at least one day a week also.

I also gave notice to another family yesterday. A family whom I have grown to love and true to form, they were gracious and kind and together we came up with a plan to fill my spot.

I began my new position earlier in the week and I love it. Its straight forward, I go in at 11pm and do night time bathroom care, and then leave to go home by 8am. 

The people that I am probably the most indispensable too are my family. I am part of a whole here and when I choose to invest myself elsewhere, in other families, because sometimes, to be brutally is so much easier... I upset the balance of our lives. We all function for the most part on our own, have our own interests, work, hobbies, but if you have no one to share them feel a loss.

Work has been my escape from the stresses here at home. It has been where I have been made to feel worthwhile....if I can't fix things at home, at least I can soothe a memory impaired old woman and make her feel beautiful and heard for a few minutes.

Today I am meeting little one and a group of mom's and kids for a river day. Then we have soccer practice. Then come home to make dinner. A normal day in the life of me.



beachteacher said...

You've blessed so many families in addition to your own. Always remember that. Not many of us do that to the level that you do. And I always wonder, when you write about these jobs - do you get to sleep enough ? You don't seem to let it stop your next day. It sounds very tiring to me. Be proud of all you contribute to others - it's wonderful. 😊

Signe said...

You made me think of cleaning house when I read this. Like a personal inventory only on the outside. I think it is healthy and a sign that you are on the right path for you, regardless of where that path is leading. One more thing, I understand that 'everyone can be replaced' A lot of people can do the same job, but never with the same unique and personal manner that you have. :)

Annette said...

Oh no, I am very happy to be dispensible. lol It felt like such a relief....this is huge progress for me! I am making a difference at the new job and its a nice place to be. So its all good. And I will stay in touch with my old clients....even my grumpy old man. His b-day is coming up, I am already planning my visit. :o)

Syd said...

It sounds so good to know that the grumpy little man will be cared for. I feel so much for those that have lost their abilities because of aging. It is such a hard thing to see. I imagine that most of us will experience it at some time if we live long enough.

Annette said...

Oh no Syd, this gentleman had no memory impairments. He was sharp as a tack.