Saturday, May 4, 2013

Everyone has their own reality.....

I was listening to a "parent round table" podcast today. The thing that I always find interesting and also a little alienating is the talk about their addicts/alcoholics getting back into their lives. Going back to jobs, careers, school, working on getting their degree....really? That is not my reality. At all. Not even vaguely.

My reality is that I watch my child struggle and battle everyday to have a clean day, to function, to muster up the courage to step out and actually DO something, to be able to sleep alone over at her apt....*we need a dance contest in our lives! With a tough heartbroken partner who understands pain.

At least thats what I think.....of course God has His own plans that never fall into the timetables that I think would be most efficient.

But I'm Still praying....

 * Have you watched Silver Linings Playbook? If not, do so.....just sayin.

Also...I received in the mail a few days ago two photographs of two beautiful girls who need prayin for. Their sweet faces are tucked away in my God box with so many others of our children.
They aren't forgotten.


Anonymous said...

Annette -

We may never know God's intentions, but a guess may be that he allows you to struggle so that you may write this blog and give comfort to other families. He knows you are strong enough to do so.

My son was diagnosed as either schizo-affective or bipolar last summer by after being screened everyday for 3 weeks while he was in the abyss of his alcoholism/addiction. Since he is sober now a few months, and on psychiatric drugs, he is 90% "normal". I stopped being sucked into his problems, and made him accountable. I think that the prescribed drugs have no chance of working unless they are sober. Also, he has a great sponsor, who doesn't take any of his garbage. I don't want to make you feel bad, but just telling you my experience. We all have gone through our personal
hell. It's like watching your child slowly commit suicide. Sometimes I wished he would have just gotten it over with to end the excruciating pain, as I saw no hope. Today there is hope. Your day too will come.

Sheri said...

I watched it last night. Plot was altered from the book a lot, but I still thought they did a great job. Made me cry .

Anonymous said...

I am so tired of the "watching" them struggle. The flip side is to tell them to leave, does that stop the mental torture for us, not for me, I then worry every single day if he is alive. There just are no easy answers it seems. I just keep handing him back over to God and examining my actions to see if I am contributing in any way to his disease. He also has mental health issues with depression tried to commit suicide a month ago with drugs. Not so easy to tell them to get out when you are dealing with that. This journey with my youngest just started a few months ago, I have already dealt with it for 7 years with his brother who has had significant clean time and is working his recovery every single day.

Signe said...

I think that might (I say might because I'm probably forgetting some other horrible aspect) be the worst part of this addiction journey--watching other people move on and pick up their lives, knowing it could happen to your loved any moment...sometime...some day.