Class tonight was on "empathy." I am naturally an empathetic person, compassionate.....but this was a new level of empathy. To be honest, I am overwhelmed and confused right now. I have my Alanon voice, my NAMI voice, the medical professionals voice, my girls voice, and my own voice all churning through my head, saying different things.
I think what I need to focus on right now is that I don't have to figure anything out tonight. I can put the whole big fat ugly mess into God's hands and let Him handle it for the next 12 hours while I go to bed.
I have a sinking feeling that I am about to be led into a new level of letting go. I thought I had done all of that that I could. I have let go of so so many things.....too many and too private to list here.
I am beginning to think that letting go while they live out their lives in the ways that they see fit, usually by not taking our advice, but forging on making some of the same dangerous and might I add.....ridiculous mistakes over and over again, doing it their own way...is this ongoing and often agonizing life lesson that *I* get to keep re-visiting.
Tonight I am feeling a wee bit resentful about that.
Still praying for God's grace.