Friday, February 22, 2013
Onward we march....
We had a big snowstorm this past week and the morning after as I drove to work, the brilliant sun and the contrast of the fresh snow and the tall pine trees was SO beautiful, it filled with me such joy....it occurred to me that maybe my blue mood does really have to do with the weather. I never put much weight in that....I always have loved the winter, when we can stay snuggled inside with a fire going, soup on the stove, etc...but after the past couple summers of hiking and being outdoors....I think I got a taste of being really active, feeling strong and capable and really, I can't get enough! I need to start some winter sports....snow-shoeing is the most likely. I am not into injury so no skiing, no snowboarding....but while the kids fly down the mountainside, I can trek around on my shoe-shoes.
We went to the mental illness class last night....a lot of talk about co-occurring disorders this week. A lot of the families are dealing with delusional, often paranoid and psychotic kids. Some of the kids are refusing treatment, refuse to believe that they have a problem....but they are hearing voices coming from the tv, feeling responsible for natural disasters as if they had the power to cause them. Then they feel tremendous guilt and act on that guilt. What a heartbreaking nightmare. One mom and I have connected....I think we are so much alike.We both spent years focusing all of our love and care on our families. She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek this past week. Her husband and second daughter accompany her each week. Such a beautiful and loving family stricken by a severe mental illness.
My girl is not delusional. She is matter of fact about her issues, both substance abuse and mental health. She is in the process of doing some in-depth research into the roots of the 12 step movement at the moment. She is finding information tying it to the Freemason's and Scientology. She is reading a lot about the spiritual realm...life after death, the Bible, the 12 step's literature on the spiritual aspects of our program. She is questioning the "disease" concept of the teachings..."I made an initial choice. The more I used, the more sick I became, so yes, you can say now that I *am* diseased...but I didn't start out that way."
Its interesting and wonderful to have these intelligent, thoughtful, discussions with her. I do a lot of listening and let her process what she is reading and learning. I share my faith in a loving and compassionate God who always wants to restore to us what has been lost.....not condemn us and punish us.
I'm on my second long weekend of work. Of course the income is always much appreciated, but I really just want to be home.
Bless you all.....lets keep praying for our kids.