Sunday, February 17, 2013
Someone asked me to pray for their loved one who is pregnant. She has one child that is almost 12, and has had many many losses. She is losing her faith and becoming angry with God.
I will admit, I felt some pressure. If I pray and this woman loses her baby, did my prayers not work? Did God not hear us? Its not like prayer is casting a spell or handing out my Christmas list and I am assured of the outcome. I was able to say that I would pray that God's will would be accomplished and that He would assure this broken hearted mama of His love for her and let her feel security in His will being done. That she would know that He hears her and see's her.
Why is His will so hard for us to accept? It is usually painful and often we aren't getting our way and especially not in the timing we would like to see it all play out.
Step 3 says that we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Turn it over... to me, that means I am handing Him the reigns and trusting that He will take care of the direction of my life. Of my concerns, and He will share in my joys too. I am relinquishing control....that is so hard. Especially when it comes to things we want so badly.....another baby, our child's health, a job after a time of unemployment. Why aren't these things, good things, just given to us? Why do we have to wait, and hope and be ready to let it go if need be?
I think it must have something to do with the process that God brings us through. I know that I am a different person than I was several years ago. The letting go, the growing faith, the learning how to trust, the being able to accept God's compassion on me...those things have changed me. Life is not easy most of the time and I trip and get impatient for some healing to take place. Then I have to get back up, brush myself off, dry my face, and get myself centered again... back to letting go of my timing, my ideas of what will be best, and getting my focus off of what I think is best and trusting the process and my God who is leading me through it.
Let's keep believing....