Deep Breath...... over and over again. Praying, trusting, letting go, and hoping. This is my life for today. I am having to work hard at my serenity....which is such an oxymoron. I am choosing to let things be revealed and not pushing through, not seeking information but rather let things play out as they will.
I loved everyone's responses to my last post. Great great stuff there. I love this blogger community. I touched base with 3 other mama's who walk a similar journey with me and I poured out my circumstances, my fears, my wonderings, and they all answered me within a couple hours, sharing their wisdom and their calm with me. They grounded me and I was amazed that even though we have never really met in real life, we totally get each other. They understand my feelings and my fears because they too have lived through so many of their own similar events.
I recently heard this acronym at an AA meeting that I was at. F.E.A.R = Face everything and recover.
Last night at my meeting we talked about the slogans. When I first got to Alanon I was shocked. I thought, "My God, my life is coming to an end and THIS is all you have? These cheesy little sayings?"
However one wise mom at that same meeting said to me, "Just for today put your girl in Gods hands and let Him take care of her. Give yourself a little rest." (I know, I have told this story a hundred times....at least) That was the very first time I was introduced to the idea of letting go though, and for that one night, I let go and put her into God's hands and I went to sleep. It felt good, right, to relinquish the control over her to a power greater than myself. What I was doing wasn't working....I needed help. Periodically I find myself back in that position and I need to go back to the simplicity of letting go and letting God.
Just for today
Let go and let God
Keep it simple
Expectations lead to resentments
How important is it?
First things first
Fears are not facts
and many many more.....these simple little sayings, help me to stay grounded. Help me to find my way back. When life is filled with chaos..."first things first" helps me to focus on what is right in front of me. Do just that task, then move on to the next thing right in front of me.
I am learning that this journey of recovery....mine and others, is rarely a straight shot. I wish it was. I have my plans and methods to make it into a straight shot, but they over ride other people's free will and that accomplishes nothing good. So I choose to stand back, not with arms crossed, but in love, and see how things play out for us all.
Thank God He is in charge and I'm not!