The simple answer is that that is impossible.
I've thought about this conversation over the past few days and what I have come up with is that none of us are entitled to a life of smooth sailing. Very few of us receive it either...LOL but our response is up to us. There are parents of children born with birth defects, or whose children get cancer at a young age, or have an accident that changes everything for them all, or families that walk through financial devastation, or a natural disaster, and there are families who are struck with addiction.
Life is messy and unpredictable and there are no guarantees that all will turn out the way we hope and plan. Our lives will be affected by so many things. Good things and awful things. That is what living is about. We have people in our lives who are unhealthy. Do we reject, push away, cut off contact because they are dysfunctional in some way? Or do we decide what and how much we are able to give, what connection we can manage, how much time we can give to this person and we proceed in love and gentleness to hand our offerings over to them, with no expectation of a response or a change. We give it as a free gift, simply because these people are God's children too. Just like each of us.
I suggested to my friend that they pray for willingness to give whatever they are called to give. We are only called to be willing. Nothing more. We don't have to figure out our part, or their part, or what's next.....just be willing to do what is put in front of us to do.
Make me willing Lord, to serve the least of these. The ones who don't live according to my rules and expectations. Help me to see them through your eyes. Help me to look beyond the exterior appearances, beneath the surface, the seemingly ungrateful replies, and help me to love unconditionally."
Praying for this too, each day.