Sunday, May 8, 2016

Blessings in the mix

I am sitting here and have so many little inconsequentials that I want to write about... I'm just going to make a list. I have so much I want to do today but here I sit. I need to make a list of those things too.

My brother's cremation: Anyone who has a child with long term addiction in their lives, knows the affect on your finances. I have one child in college, one getting married, and one addicted that we are paying for therapy and a daily 120 mile round trip commute to a methadone clinic. So adding in a cremation wasn't part of our financial plan, BUT I also felt that it was something I had to do for him. So I did what any red blooded American does....I put it on a credit card! What has transpired has convinced me of God being my provider....what a relief to know that there is a bigger picture than just my own best thinking and hard work.  It was confirmation that I definitely had done the right thing by giving my brother the dignity of a cremation and receiving his ashes back to my house to be scattered in a beautiful place. Some family members were unwilling to contribute, but the ones who did....oh my goodness, that meant so so much to me. A dear long time blogger friend (you know who you are Love) generously mailed me a check, an uncle mailed me a generous check, my older brother, a niece, together we are accomplishing something so beautiful, a right thing. Not because my brother "earned" this by all of his contributions to the world, but just because he was a person, broken in many ways, but he deserves to have his body disposed of in death with some sort of care and reverence. He is still a child of God and through many circumstances and many reasons he never was able to live to his potential, but that potential was there in all of its fullness at one time. I am blessed to tears when I look at how this has played out and I am so so very grateful for others in my life who were willing to join with me to do this....not just monetarily, but in spirit and acknowledging his worth as fellow human being. I feel surrounded by support and love and that I am blessed. For that I am so very grateful.

A new client: I have a new client who is an angry man. I walked in to his beautiful gigantic home and was met with an ice cold "hello," with his back to me! He wouldn't turn and look at me! I walked up and touched his back and introduced myself....."Yeah, hi,  ____ will be here in a minute. Go look around the house." I am used to working for people who are happy to see me! LOL My first reaction was "this is not going to work. I don't have the emotional resources to be disliked right now." I walked around his house wondering what I was going to do....I saw evidence of a huge vibrant life, beautiful and obviously carefully picked watercolor paintings hanging every where, cat boxes that were clean and a collection of cat food sat on the counter, an upstairs office with a gorgeous slate fireplace in front of the desk and a beautiful view of his vineyard out the wall sized windows.... Who is this person?! What kind of work does he do? He obviously has a sensitive side....those water colors show that. Anyone drawn to that sort of beauty has a heart that feels something. "God, do you have something for me to do here? If so show me what and give me the grace to do it."
Eventually his friend who hired me came and we talked and talked....I loved her! She told me his story, which I obviously can't share here, but he has been a powerful man whose many very serious health conditions stopped him in his tracks. He refuses to stop working so he sits at his computer typing away....being so angry and so frustrated. He is relegated to the main floor of his house because he can't do the stairs anymore. He doesn't want help, he wants to just do his life and be who he is used to being, god damn it! I had a renewed become his friend. To be sensitive to his desire to do as much as possible for himself. His life is dwindling and he is enraged at the process.
The wedding: I have a feeling this is going to be a case of the country mouse and the city mouse. You know who is who I am sure. LOL We have four kids and we are used to being "do it ourselves" sort of people. Do you see where this is going? I volunteered to cover the flowers and the rehearsal dinner...
I am working with my florist friend who is a flowery genius thank the Lord! This is the dad working on the wood rounds that will be the center pieces. We had to have 5 trees taken down due to the bark beetle attacking them during the drought. So we cut our own rounds and treated them with Pentracryl to avoid cracking and drying too quickly, sanding, and then a coat of clear varnish. Then once this wedding of the century is finished, I am saving them because I have a feeling Molly is going to be getting married within the next 18 months.
More than enough so I can pick and choose.
Hopefully we can create THIS!
The succulents we are propagating for the favors.
                                                                                                                                                                                                       We will make 150 of these little wooden boxes. My reclaimed wood friend is giving me the wood.
The mother of the groom dress...its too small but I loved it so I am starting my diet and my upper arm workouts tomorrow! 

 Mothers Day: I miss my mom today. Happy mothers day to all of my readers who are mommas. Some of the most courageous, loving, and faithful women I could ever hope to know. Bless each of you where ever you are at in your journey. Know most of all that you are never alone.

Much love and ongoing prayers.....


Grace-WorkinProgress said...

Sometimes doing the right thing is difficult but I think it always comes to you 10 fold. Every person has equal value in the eyes of God. It would be nice if we could all be as generous. We can only live our own life the one inside our head and only by grace some of us find peace and happiness.

With your new client I feel that healing takes place when someone who has found peace just spends time in the aame room with someone who is suffering. Nothing to do but just be there. It is said that the energy in the room always adjust to the level of the person most calm. Good Luck.

Nice decorations. Don't add the stress of a diet to the other stresses you alraady have going on there are many beautiful dressess out there. Just a thought. You are perfect just the way you are.

Dad and Mom said...

I know what Pentracryl is and what it does. How many of your readers can say that.

"Stop the world I want to get off." I've heard that many times but I have a feeling you and I are much the same, we don't want off, we just just it to slow down sometimes.

FYI, I am now a 24 hour caregiver. My sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I was called, "come and get mom, I can't do it." she has advanced stage alzheimers. she is a flight risk so I am sleeping in a chair beside her until I can find a nursing home to take her.

Sometimes it s like trying to drink from a firehose.

SoberMomWrites said...

Love that you managed to pull off the act of kindness and love for your brother.

You will definitely win over your new client. I'm not sure what happens to men in old age but they get angry...add in illness and they are filled with rage. Your love and kindness will soften him at least a little.

I LOVE THOSE FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS! Look how talented you are!

I LOVE THAT DRESS!!! You're going to be beautiful in it and I can't wait to see the pictures of this wedding!

Annette said...

I love all of you. Thank you for your kind comments. Ron message me....there are tools that will help. Baby monitors, alarms... One end connected to her, one to where she is sitting or laying. Bless your heart for stepping up.

Anonymous said...


Thanks so much for sharing all of this with us. I wish I had half of your wisdom and compassion. The wedding is going to be beautiful ... loved the city vs country mouse question. And my favorite was to see how the propagating succulents are doing. And you thought your home schooling days were over ... I'm 57 and had no idea what that was until I read your post mentioning them :)

Hang in there. You are one remarkable person.


Mark Goodson said...

Very cool endeavors all. Those blocks will make for incredible decor! I love that.
As for working with the "angry" client, that's tough. I know my sponsor would tell me to pray for him. (I'm currently praying for three people in my life for similar reasons) That stuff works. I don't know if they chance, or just my point of view, but it works damn near every time.

Liz said...

Dear Annette - I just want you to know that I think the world of you! I am so blessed to be able to call you my friend.. even though we have never met in person, I consider you my understanding, far-away friend! Your brother is resting in peace and knows exactly how you feel about him. I had to do pretty much the same thing for my dear Aunt Nancy who died last November. She had no money, no children, but I took care of her memorial service and cremation. She deserved respect and a beautiful send off, just like your brother and it was my honor to do it. I love the wood creations and the dress. You are will look beautiful! BTW, my daughter is clean again and back into Outpatient. Last night was very sad for all of us as one of her dear friends from high school died of a heroin overdose.. I truly hate hate HATE this disease! XO Liz