Saturday, February 20, 2016

This too will pass.....

I had a very rough conversation with my girl today... I cried, she was mad, I was mad, but part way through I thought "this will pass." Nothing is forever. This is not our norm, we rarely "have words," but I think more of this will have to happen to dig up all of the infection and drain it out so that healing can begin....and I will do that. I will walk my way through all of that if it leads to healing and freedom for all of us.

I think so often we avoid things that are uncomfortable because we don't want to feel it, look at it, deal with it.....so we skim over the top and call it good. The thought today of this discomfort only being temporary helped me hang in there and not stomp off and to especially not say anything in anger. 

I have told the story many times here, about my first Alanon meeting and the mom who came up to me afterward and asked, "Can you put your girl into God's hands just for today?" That became my lifeline that I clung to. I could do anything for one day. I could let go, I could trust God to take care of her....and for the past 10 years that has been part of my daily morning ritual, 7 days a week. I have added lots of other names to that daily act of relinquishing control....but its a finite amount of time. It will pass, and I will have the choice to do it again, or to dig in and try to control everything again. Most days, I do ok....but occasionally, I grab it all back and carry it around with me. But like everything, that eventually comes to an end. I get tired, I realize what the heck I am doing, and I circle back around to handing it over.

The idea that the circumstances of our lives do not last forever....can be both happy and sad. I am more than happy that the sad, hard, ugly stuff comes to an end. I soak in the calm moments and focus on renewing my strength. I think of the happy times too.....the times of giving birth, having babies in the house, teaching little ones how to read, watching my girls pitch in softball games and strike out batter after batter, the times my son hit home-runs and brought in all of the runners, or got an airy 3 pointer on the court, the times I made it to the top of a mountain and looked out at all of the various blue-green lakes below me for miles around. The times I spent bringing comfort to and accompanying someone who has lived a long life and is now getting ready to leave this earth.

Those precious memorable times come to an end too and that is always bittersweet. It is time passing on as it should. Some moments we want to hang on to, some we can't wait to get rid of. For me, I think learning to live in the moment and be willing to allow time to pass as it is meant to, is what leads to the peaceful times in my life. When I find myself digging in and clinging to moments in time, trying to force them into what I think they should look like, I end up getting myself into trouble. Emotionally and relationally.

Let go, let things play out as they will, live in the moment...this particular moment will pass and this awful pain and awkwardness will go with it, eventually.

This journey is so so so hard sometimes. But the hard stuff passes and we get to walk into a new moment that can be fresh and filled with new potential, and the hard stuff is not without purpose. Sometimes the hard stuff is what brings on the beginnings of new life. Painful labor leads to a beautiful baby, a forest fire leads to new growth. Its true for us humans too.

Much love to all.....
Annette

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,11

Anonymous said...

Thank you Annette for this blog! I guess all we can do some days is to look for the good in our lives and lock in on it. But,easier said than done on some days!

Kathy

Mark Goodson said...

I shared at a meeting the other day about the stresses of working, and parenting, and trying to do it all kind of thing.
A father of 4 came to me after the meeting and said that he had been through all those same frustrations along the way. But the funny thing, he said, he can't remember any of those smaller bumps along the way--fights, arguments etc.
I actually can't imagine that. Right now, it seems like all there is is this nitty gritty crap that weighs on my mind. Apparently, I will forget all of it soon enough.
Anyway, that's what your post (especially about your daughter relations and letting go) made me think of.
Thanks Annette.