Friday, March 13, 2015

The quiet of the night

I am on an overnight job tonight. I had to take the dog out and after a whirlwind of a week, I stepped outside to this beautiful spring evening with this sweet old dog on his leash, the scent of the lilacs all around, the night sounds chirping, the moon overhead....and I immediately felt myself come down off the edge. It was like a cold drink of water after being lost in the desert. We walked a ways for him to potty, and all I could think of was the time my son told me that nature and the mountains were like drugs to him. Yes! I miss hiking. I miss that feeling of peace and solitude up in the mountains. I miss being still.

I think, and I hope I don't jinx it by saying this....but I think we may have found a girl to take one of my days each week. I need a break, I need time to do my own life. I used to be able to do this crazy schedule...but all I can think of these days is that I want to be home with Little One. I have so many people who need help though. Its so hard to say no sometimes. Most of the time. Add in that I love to be needed....and you have the perfect recipe for a crazy woman!

Peace will come. I will seek it out. I can't live a life of chaos any more. I am getting too old and too tired. I have to be more gentle and take better care of myself. No matter what is going on with anyone else or how much they need my help.

Annette
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6 comments:

Tori said...

So true Annette. It is so easy for us to get on overload and not stop until we have to.



Seeker said...

I sooooh understand your remark: "I can't live a life of chaos any more"! My own life seems to become more and more chaotic, with all my daughter's problems..... and I just crave for a little peace for 'me'. :-(

I hope and pray that you are able to grab yourself some of the peace you are craving. xx

Syd said...

I hope that you can free up your schedule. I too need that time to just be and enjoy life.
Thinking of you.

SoberMomWrites said...

So true. Take care of my friend. I need her.

Sherry

Mary Christine said...

You're singing to the choir sister!

Birdie said...

Oh, I need to slow down. I am so tired every single day.