Friday, March 13, 2015

The quiet of the night

I am on an overnight job tonight. I had to take the dog out and after a whirlwind of a week, I stepped outside to this beautiful spring evening with this sweet old dog on his leash, the scent of the lilacs all around, the night sounds chirping, the moon overhead....and I immediately felt myself come down off the edge. It was like a cold drink of water after being lost in the desert. We walked a ways for him to potty, and all I could think of was the time my son told me that nature and the mountains were like drugs to him. Yes! I miss hiking. I miss that feeling of peace and solitude up in the mountains. I miss being still.

I think, and I hope I don't jinx it by saying this....but I think we may have found a girl to take one of my days each week. I need a break, I need time to do my own life. I used to be able to do this crazy schedule...but all I can think of these days is that I want to be home with Little One. I have so many people who need help though. Its so hard to say no sometimes. Most of the time. Add in that I love to be needed....and you have the perfect recipe for a crazy woman!

Peace will come. I will seek it out. I can't live a life of chaos any more. I am getting too old and too tired. I have to be more gentle and take better care of myself. No matter what is going on with anyone else or how much they need my help.



Tori said...

So true Annette. It is so easy for us to get on overload and not stop until we have to.

Seeker said...

I sooooh understand your remark: "I can't live a life of chaos any more"! My own life seems to become more and more chaotic, with all my daughter's problems..... and I just crave for a little peace for 'me'. :-(

I hope and pray that you are able to grab yourself some of the peace you are craving. xx

Syd said...

I hope that you can free up your schedule. I too need that time to just be and enjoy life.
Thinking of you.

SoberMomWrites said...

So true. Take care of my friend. I need her.


Mary Christine said...

You're singing to the choir sister!

Birdie said...

Oh, I need to slow down. I am so tired every single day.