Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Mothering

I have lots of young mom friends. Girls who I have known since they were little. One of them began a FB page on natural parenting and asked me to be a part of it. Yesterday "the girls" were discussing little girls dressing up like princesses and the "need" to begin instilling in these littles that they don't "need" a man or anyone for that matter. They want to foster independence and strength in their daughters.

I *had* to comment that human beings were not created to forge their way through life in isolation. People need other people. It was a good discussion that led into lots of topics like feminism, need vs. want, reliance vs. independence.

So FFWD to this morning. First the background story...I'm so tired. I set out to work 3 days a week beginning in January and it didn't work out, as you all have heard repeatedly. I am leaving the house at 7:30am and not getting home until 9ish at night 5 days a week. My weekends are being used for my overflow of clients that I can't fit into my regular week anymore. It looks like this is how it will be for me through May. 

So back to this morning... I am getting my very elderly client ready for her shower and I have long sleeves on. She stops the whole process as she sits naked on her shower chair and asks for my hands. She proceeded to ever so gently push my sleeves up for me and then rubbed my arms for a second and then said, "there." I got a lump in my throat I tell you! It was such a simple act of kindness and care. She mothered me for a minute and I can't tell you how long it's been since anyone has mothered me or taken care of me. It really was a living example of how, yes, people need other people. We need to give and receive love and care. We need to be touched and acknowledged. We can be a feminist (I'm not really....I'm just me) we can be strong and independent and so so capable of everything we want to do....but we still need one another. We all need to be taken care of every once in awhile. And that's a beautiful thing when it happens. 
Annette

12 comments:

SoberMomWrites said...

Oh Lord woman now I'm here sitting at work crying (not snot crying but real tears). This touched me so deeply. Yes...we all need each other and we all need to know when to let people in.

THAT is the greatest gift we can give our children...how to love and be loved in return.

Whoa...this one really got me.

Love and hugs,
Sherry

Birdie said...

What a beautiful moment. Now that my own mom is no longer living I desperately love the connection with my female clients.

beachteacher said...

Oh -- this touched my heart.

TAAAF said...

Having cancer and being quite ill has taught me to let other people help me. I've learned to let my friends show their love for me, in whatever way they can - they need to show it, just as I need so much to receive it. The love of other people, feeds me in a way that nothing else can or does. This post made me weep today, so beautiful. Thank you.

Kathy said...

Oh this post is so heartwarming!

theaddictinmybasement.com said...

I am definiely a feminist. And I believe that I raise both my duaghters and my sons that they should treat men and women equally. I don't believe in the "women don't need men" theory. I believe that all humans need kindness and compassion and love. From each other. Men from women, women from men, men from men and women from women. Your post is a great example of that. Thank you for reminding us that compassion can come from anywhere.

Birdie said...

For some reason I felt compelled to send you this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK05JDZ6Chg

Hattie Heaton said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful. I hope you told her about this post. We all need to be needed as well.

Mrs D said...

Beautiful. Hugs to you xxx

onesobercatholic said...

You are truly a gift to those you care for. I am so glad one of them wanted to care for you a little. So sweet.

I live the life of a feminist. Oh, how I wish it wasn't so.

Linda dev said...

My heart warms at this post. Being on my own, I realize the deep need I have for the human touch. So, when one of my kids holds my hand or rubs my arm, I close my eyes and love the moment.

Wishing you strength and respite in your walk.

Syd said...

Yes, I do need other people. I like to have good social discussions and to be close to others. I tend to isolate as you know and have to work on that every day.

What the elderly lady did is so good and reminds me of my own mother and how much I miss having some family. It gets lonely sometimes with just the two of us in this big house.