Saturday, September 20, 2014

My girl

My girl has been gone for 2 weeks now. I don't know what this means, I don't know the future for her or for us as a family with or without her. I have heard that shes not doing well. I put her into God's hands, step back, and hope for the best.

I have the family map app and I track her phone to see if she is on the move.....she is all over about a 100 square mile area. She has a whole new group of people "friends" that she is with.

I pray for her. That is all I can do at this point. We will pack her things up in the next few weeks and clean out her apt. Our door will always be open to her...maybe not to live here, but to grab a meal, to sit for a minute, have a shower.

I was thinking today about how unnatural it is to have to let go of one of your children. The thought occurred to me that the dad could let go of me and I would not become this combustible traveling woman. I could let go of one of the other kids and they would not set out on a mission to self destruct. Addiction rules her life for today.

Praying....
Annette

16 comments:

Lisa said...

I'm praying with you.

ditchingthedog said...

I am hurting for you during this tremendously difficult time. Praying for her return to wellness and for comfort to you. I am so sorry, Annette. xo

Summer said...

Oh Annette, my heart just breaks for you and your family. That uncertainty of not knowing where our kids are or if they are okay is so gut wrenching. I will be praying for her safety and for all of you.

Dad and Mom said...

Remember that it is the monster.

While my son was using I loved him but I did not like him. He was not a person that wanted to know or associate with socially.

When he got clear and sober a the monster went away and our son was released from his bonds. The person we knew returned.

My thoughts are with you, take care of yourself too.

Anonymous said...

Annette, I hear your sadness and worry. As you say, the disease of addiction causes us to act in ways that seem so foreign to our notions of how we as moms would like to naturally behave with our young adult children.... As always, I hope for the best for your daughter, you and your family!

Holly

Christina said...

God loves your girl more than you could ever know. Her bottom is necessary. Dont watch just allow God to get this one.

Praying for you and know you are doing the right thing. Letting her go will teach her to falter or fly. Either way, it's her lesson. Peace.

Signe said...

I'm so sorry, Annette. Again, I'm at a loss for the right words. I just want her to be okay and to find her way home. I so understand about the unnaturalness of letting go of a child. So unfair and not in the plan. My heart breaks.

Hattie Heaton said...

Annette, I'm praying for her now. I'm praying over the scripture that I have used with my son. Mark 9:19-30

Mrs. Dubose said...

Oh Annette, how you walk with such grace amazes me. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying with all my heart that your daughter finds her way to recovery and to know how much she is loved. I am sure this is a very difficult path for all of you and you are in my heart.

notmyboy said...

You are in my prayers. I cannot imagine if my addict was a girl. It just has to be that much harder...especially for dad. Keep believing in miracles.

Lolly said...

This made me so sad. Wish there was something I could say... I am sorry Annette. I am praying for all of you.

Patricia said...

Praying for you and yours. I agree with Mrs Dubose - your grace is what speaks most to me. You love and you wait - all you can do for now. Patricia

mary christine said...

God does not have grandchildren. I had to remember that over and over and over when my daughter was wandering around with a bunch of junkies. Sad to realize, she was the leader of the pack.

beachteacher said...

Oh Annette -- this tears at my heart for yours. I'm praying for her daily -- count on it. Please keep us posted.

SoberMomWrites said...

Well damn my friend - I've been having computer issues and I just saw this. I'm praying for her but I didn't know she had left. I'll adjust the prayer to keep her safe.

And to keep you strong.

Sherry

Syd said...

Dear Annette, I feel terrible for not keeping up on blogs, especially when I read about this. I am giving you a virtual hug because I can't offer much else. She has a HP as do you. Keep Step 3 in mind as you walk through the sadness.