So much to say I can't find the words!
Does that mean I am speechless? No....of course not! There are just some things that I can't put into words right now, so I am not going to even try.
Last night the dad and I claimed a night for ourselves and went to see a guitarist in a small cafe. You would not believe the obstacles we faced just to have a few short hours on a Thursday night. But we pushed on and we went and we had fun. Even if it almost killed us! The young man is my clients nephew and I have to say that it was so nice to see this young person, up on stage sharing his own personal compositions with us and telling us about his life in college where he majors in music. He shared his plans for after graduation, to get his masters and become a professor of music. It was just so awesome. He has a passion, and a plan, and he is motivated to make it all happen. No one is leading him along....he is doing it! He said he goes to sleep listening to classical music. He gave up his football career/full ride scholarship to follow his dream. I just loved it all so much.
I have backed out of my girls life. Not a shunning or a rejection, but a stepping aside and letting it all play out the way it will. The dad is not able to do that yet so when she leaves for days at a time he is texting her and calling her and wanting to know the plan. I know what it feels like to be so afraid and to be grasping at any little thread of control you think you might see. I suggested that we stop calling, texting, and waiting for her and just let go and let it all play out. Then we can make a decision based on the true outcome of her choices, not on her behavior that has been pushed and manipulated and molded by our constant attempts at controlling her. The dad is really struggling and is not interested in my "help." Imagine! So I am treading lightly and doing my own thing.
I have been meeting with my new sponsor and I just love her. She is comforting and understands and brings so much clarity as we talk things through.
My son invited me to go on a hike with his new-ish girlfriend last weekend. I have only spent little bits of time with her so far.....but I just adore her. All I can say is that she emanates peace and calm and I think that is what attracts my big boy to her. Things have been strained between he and I so it was really so special that he sought me out and initiated the day together. I wouldn't have missed it for anything! We went on a 9 mile hike to this house.
It was such a beautiful day.... We walked 4.5 miles along the left side of this bay, that led us to the house and the beach where we had lunch. Then back out again. Only some rolling hills. No mountain climbing. It was so great.....I wish I could go out and do that every single day. Think of how thin I would be! lol Its a great escape though!
Keep praying for us.....we need it desperately, and I am praying for all of you.
Annette
Last night the dad and I claimed a night for ourselves and went to see a guitarist in a small cafe. You would not believe the obstacles we faced just to have a few short hours on a Thursday night. But we pushed on and we went and we had fun. Even if it almost killed us! The young man is my clients nephew and I have to say that it was so nice to see this young person, up on stage sharing his own personal compositions with us and telling us about his life in college where he majors in music. He shared his plans for after graduation, to get his masters and become a professor of music. It was just so awesome. He has a passion, and a plan, and he is motivated to make it all happen. No one is leading him along....he is doing it! He said he goes to sleep listening to classical music. He gave up his football career/full ride scholarship to follow his dream. I just loved it all so much.
I have backed out of my girls life. Not a shunning or a rejection, but a stepping aside and letting it all play out the way it will. The dad is not able to do that yet so when she leaves for days at a time he is texting her and calling her and wanting to know the plan. I know what it feels like to be so afraid and to be grasping at any little thread of control you think you might see. I suggested that we stop calling, texting, and waiting for her and just let go and let it all play out. Then we can make a decision based on the true outcome of her choices, not on her behavior that has been pushed and manipulated and molded by our constant attempts at controlling her. The dad is really struggling and is not interested in my "help." Imagine! So I am treading lightly and doing my own thing.
I have been meeting with my new sponsor and I just love her. She is comforting and understands and brings so much clarity as we talk things through.
My son invited me to go on a hike with his new-ish girlfriend last weekend. I have only spent little bits of time with her so far.....but I just adore her. All I can say is that she emanates peace and calm and I think that is what attracts my big boy to her. Things have been strained between he and I so it was really so special that he sought me out and initiated the day together. I wouldn't have missed it for anything! We went on a 9 mile hike to this house.
It was such a beautiful day.... We walked 4.5 miles along the left side of this bay, that led us to the house and the beach where we had lunch. Then back out again. Only some rolling hills. No mountain climbing. It was so great.....I wish I could go out and do that every single day. Think of how thin I would be! lol Its a great escape though!
Keep praying for us.....we need it desperately, and I am praying for all of you.
Annette
Comments
Your hike with your son and his gf sounds positively wonderful and that view is spectacular...as is that house. Wow!
I am so sorry that your daughter is back in this place and it makes me sad that your hubby isn't ready to take that step back...it's such a hard and exhausting thing to be where he is now but watching it all play out and not stepping in is so hard, too. :(
I'm praying for your precious daughter, that she will reach her place of surrender very soon and I'm praying for peace and comfort for you and your hubby.
Birdie
I think of you all the time.
Reading about how you're handling your girl and how your hubs is handling this makes me want to scream - "Listen to your wife! Don't you know...." But that's the control part of the equation isn't it? I know this is hard but you seem to be in a better place this time. Maybe it's the new sponsor or maybe it's just YOU! Whatever it is, know that you and yours are always in my prayers.
As for your son, I don't know if he reads your blog but your "about me" should probably be updated since his beauty may not be in the picture any more? Don't know what made me re-read it the other day but that jumped out at me.
Hang tough mama. You're such a light in my day.
Sherry
I told son that he had made his choice as to how he wanted to live and that was ok and up to him. But, I could also choose. I did not wish to live near or around the chaos of addiction and I hoped that he would respect that as well. Which he didn't....but what did I expect. However, it is a lot more peaceful and I am really trying to learn God's will for me now that I am not constantly riding the crazy train. Good book recommendation--Homecoming John Bradshaw. Hubby and I are in the process of reading.