Sunday, April 27, 2014
I did it!
I spent the week working at finding my center again. I am still searching. I can tell that I am not myself, but its getting better.
My girl left on Wednesday for 30 days. The dad did the dropping off this time. Before she left she planted some morning glory seeds and zinnia seeds that she had harvested from her flowers last year, into a half barrel that I use for tomato plants each year. She said, "The morning glories will grow all along the deck rail mom and the zinnias will come up in front of them and fill in the barrel. It will be beautiful for you!" This sweet girl just breaks my heart.
I walked my half marathon yesterday with my friends! It was so fun...we moved our arms to propel ourselves along, we ate gummy bears for energy, we talked and laughed, we would find someone just ahead and make them into our pace car.....we had to keep up with them. We ended up finishing 13.1 miles in 3 hours and 33 minutes. My goal was to complete it in under 4 hours and I did it! By almost a half hour. So that is my base time.....now I have something to work toward beating.
The weather was cool which really helped. I don't know how we would have done in the beating down Sacramento heat.
We met a young couple afterwards when we all were reading our results. She had walked it and he was her cheering section. She explained that every thing she has ever done, she had always come in dead last.....like they follow her in and close the track. She felt like it was all just too demoralizing and she had given up ever doing anything again. A lot of time went by and she decided to try again with this race. She took off in front of us and we all returned around the same time. Her husband then explained that she had had a "life event" and decided she wanted to really live. She went from never doing anything to getting out in the world and trying new things.
They made such an impact on me.....her for being so young and so sweet and so thrilled with her accomplishment after having gone through God knows what and being out there pushing forward. Him for being so supportive. He was so proud of her and genuinely joyful at her success.
We all have life events. We all do. Things that shake our whole world and change our center, that put everything into perspective for us, that help us prioritize our lives and help us narrow down what we will really commit ourselves to. I know that I am committed to our reality. Not what I want it to be, but to what it is at this very moment. I want to live in what is real.....even when it is ugly and hurts. I really do believe that the only way to overcome is to look straight at it and make our way through. To cut away the layers of weeds and the overgrown branches and create a new path that is clear, that we can navigate in freedom. Nothing will hold us back like lies or denial of our reality. We will be able to soar freely in our truth with the light shining all around us.
Anyway....thank you again for being here and for taking the time to comment.
Much much love to all.....