Saturday, December 28, 2013

Here we go......

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I am trying to recover from mine. It was so stressful at my house if the truth be told. My son always brings his dogs and Molly's of course live here now....7 dogs total. It was too much. We were shuffling them all in and out in shifts, I knocked on a bedroom door which got them all barking at the same time, it was just constant dog maintenance. This year felt like so much work.

One of my kids holds resentments toward me and that leaked out in various forms. I have made amends numerous times, owned my stuff, acknowledged my mistakes, apologized all over the place....but this particular child is still angry deep inside himself and I am the focus. Not fun. I am thinking of taking an idea from a blogger friend of mine, Anna over at Let Go Hang On, and beginning to send mail with notes and photos to remind him of good times we have shared. Whether he lets go or not is out of my control, but I can extend a hand of restoration to him.

I have a second client moving into a facility. This month alone, I will have lost 2800.00 in income. I am so tired though, I don't care. I am concerned, but I don't have enough energy to do much about it. I am waiting to see what unfolds. I need a break, but can't afford to take one. What a predicament.

So with the above in mind, I am focusing on being still and knowing that God is God and I am not Him. He has a plan....I just don't know what it is yet.

Glad its over and I can put my house back together again.
Much love to all.....
Annette



8 comments:

Akannie said...

God may be making sure you get the break you need, whether you can afford it or not. First 3 steps "I can't. God can. I think I'll let Him"

Glad you made it through your holidays...I feel like a shipwreck survivor myself. lol
Much love !!

Anna said...

You need to take a nice long soak in the tub. Hugs to you and thanks for being my friend.

Carrie Kaffer said...

Hey, Annette! You sound so weary, mentally and physically. That can't be good for you :( On the other hand, it sounds like you are keeping your eyes and your heart open to all sorts of options- I hope something very wonderful comes along for you in 2014!

Mary Christine said...

I'm glad it's over too. I even took the tree down yesterday - it had too many memories of the person who helped me put it up. And now is in jail - for many, many years, I hope.

Anonymous said...

gosh, I can really relate to the resentment from the 'healthy' kids...I try and give them as much 'room' as they need...it's odd, but it seems that when the their addict brother gets 'healthier'; the more the resentment from his siblings surfaces....I really don't have the answers, but I just wanted to let you know, your not alone....all you can do is your best....

Drug Addction Recoverer said...

Thanks so much for sharing your journey. It's a difficult thing to deal with. Glad I can read your journey and compare it with my own.

Syd said...

I'm glad that we had a quiet drama free Christmas. It was so different from all the previous ones but we found it to be just what was needed. No party, no worry, no anxiety. I can see that our future will hold much of this type of holiday.

Dawn McCoy said...

You just sort of feel that your batteries are on perma-drain and they don't SELL the ones you need!! I am so there. I can't tell you a bath will help, (it won't), getting drunk doesn't do a whole lot, asking for help is totally fruitless and mostly ignored by family members. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, yet I will continue walking the damn tunnel because at this point that is all I remember to do. What was that FUN that I used to have regularly? did it really exist, or is it just something I have invented to get through each day?

hmmm. Love to you fellow traveler.