Sunday, October 6, 2013

The miracles of the program....

Last night I went to an Alanon speaker meeting and immediately following was an AA speaker meeting. I had the privilege of hearing several individual's stories of recovery. As I sat and looked around the room, I saw several elderly gentleman who have many many years of sobriety....but they still were there. Interesting old guys with Marine corp hats on and one wore big wide bright red suspenders....I am in the country, remember. lol A young kid walked in and sat down....I thought about him. He could be out doing anything, but here he was on a Saturday night, sitting in an AA meeting, working it out for one more day.

As I listened to the stories, I heard things that were so beautiful. Stories of redemption and hope. One person shared about telling her "secret." She knew she had to do it to release the power of the shame that it held over her. She chose someone and the person asked, "Would you do it that way again? Would you do that today?" Then proceeded to share her own big hairy secret that blew the other woman's right out of the water. The speaker said, "I showed myself to her, and then she gave it back to me. She showed herself to me. She didn't just leave me hanging out there by myself with my guts showing." She said, "You don't get that out there." Meaning in the world at large.

As I sat listening and seeing who was in that room, I just thought it was all so beautiful. That room was filled with 40+ faces of the grace of God. People choosing for one more day to do whatever it takes to stay sober and healthy. People who I have no doubt have been to hell and back and are humbly there. I think that is the part that touches me the most....the humility in those stories. People who have messed up, who have hurt others, who didn't do it all right and eventually found themselves broken. They have been given life back and their gratitude is deep and they are aware of their limitations and they are HONEST. There are no illusions of having it all together. I just love it. There is something there that touches me so deep inside. I don't even know what to call it....but its something valuable.

Annette

7 comments:

Mrs. Dubose said...

I am learning that when you look for God's grace, you can find it. I searched for a really long time for grace. Letting go and letting God was one of the motto's I hated the most. Like, I am supposed to leave this mess to GOD?

It turns out, yes.

I sure can't do it alone.

Many blessings to you! xo :)

Signe said...

I find that each time I am part of or observe people showing kindness to each other or are showing kindness to themselves, I start to choke up. People are so fragile but we hide behind such hard facades most of the time. I'm glad you were part of that experience of watching the goodness that people can show, once they come out from behind that fa├žade.

Mary Christine said...

I just call it AA. It is a wonderful thing. Thanks for describing it so well.

Syd said...

I too am touched by honest sharings. Rigorous honesty is what is required. Otherwise, the secrets continue.

Annette said...

And MC....they closed the meeting with The Lord's Prayer. ;o)

SoberMomWrites said...

There is something truly magical about speaker meetings...about how these people lay themselves bare. It's very moving and powerful and you captured the essence beautifully.

Sherry

Isabetta said...

Hello Annette, Thank you so much for your post. I am 34 days sober today. I would not have hope if I hadn't walked into the rooms of AA. Rigorous honesty has not come easy to me, but I am grateful for a chance to recover. You put into words so eloquently how it feels to be part of the healing.