I had my first meet-up with my therapist and it was good. She is very nice. My friend who referred her to me, said that she is gentle....and she is. After a couple days of feeling like a whining, self obsessed idiot for going in and talking about myself and all of my "issues" for an hour.....I got over it and began to feel relief. And some hope. What if my girl really is on her way to being a healthy adult? Odds are that Molly will be fine, big brother and little one are doing fine....good job, great in school, relatively happy with their lives.....so what if everyone is ok and what if I really am able to work through one of the last big issues that has hung around inside of my soul for so so many years, what if the dad and I don't have to think about how we will manage a crisis, or when the next crisis will hit, what if we can focus on each other and what makes us happy?!
We had our first baby 18 months after our wedding... so we have been parenting for the majority of our marriage. Of course, 4 kids, a house big enough for all, living on one income for 18 years so that someone could be available, cars and all that they entail, car repairs, multiple stints in rehab, multiple stints in college, textbooks, tutoring, counseling when needed, clothes, proms, sports, hobbies and interests for thus said 4 kids...and we have no money left. So whatever our fun will be, it will have to be FREE or pretty darn close! And we are fine with that!
Is that a light at the end of the tunnel I am seeing today?