a fair haired girl with a smattering of freckles all across her sweet round face. This broken little girl lived with her broken adults. She ran all around, trying to bring calm, trying to create safety, but really she created her own form's of chaos. She would hear, "You are too loud, too active, too emotional, too dramatic, too angry, too sassy ... too too too!"
Her adults lived their own lives, detached from the little girl. They went about their business, and the little girl looked desperately for some one to acknowledge her, to *see* her, to know her, to connect with her and ultimately to adore and admire her. She wanted to matter.
The little girl lived for many years in fear, fear of everything really, of making a mistake, of doing the wrong thing and upsetting the fragile balance that she and her adults lived on, afraid of not doing enough, of not being good enough, of being rejected, of an explosion within the house, afraid the adults would hurt one another, afraid the police would come, afraid the neighbors would hear....afraid that everyone would know how inadequate she really was. Her mind churned with all of the potential troubles that laid before her. If she worked hard enough she might be able to hold them off.
The little girl grew into a woman and she had no idea what to do next, but she continued to try. She tried and tried and tried to find the answers that would make her life be filled with contentment and surety and calm. She worried endlessly....was she loving her children enough, was she doing *it* right, was she being a good enough wife? Surely everyone would see if they looked closely enough, that she didn't know what she was doing.
Finally, one day when things seemed as bad as they could get, one of her precious children was so broken and so sick...the girl simply gave up. She had done everything she knew to do to avoid such an outcome, but it happened anyway. Her heart was broken. Her best efforts had not been enough to protect those she loved the most from the troubles she feared the most.
It was at that point that Jesus Himself came and took the broken little girl into His arms and soothed her fears. He smoothed her hair back, He held her on His lap, and He told her it was all done now. From this point on He would be in charge. She didn't need to be afraid anymore. She could trust Him to do what she had not been able to. He assured her that it had never been His intention that she take care of everyone all by herself. She could never heal all the broken people. It was never His will for her to fix a broken world. Her broken world. All He had ever wanted was for her to come to Him and to trust Him with all of it. She first had had to try though. He understood this. She had to come to the end of her own abilities before she would be able to receive all of the love and the care and the adoration that He had to give to her....His precious little girl. She had finally come full circle.
"I will always love you and keep you. Nothing you do will ever make me send you away."