Saturday, February 9, 2013

There once was a girl.......

a fair haired girl with a smattering of freckles all across her sweet round face. This broken little girl lived with her broken adults. She ran all around, trying to bring calm, trying to create safety, but really she created her own form's of chaos. She would hear, "You are too loud, too active, too emotional, too dramatic, too angry, too sassy ... too too too!"

Her adults lived their own lives, detached from the little girl. They went about their business, and the little girl looked desperately for some one to acknowledge her, to *see* her, to know her, to connect with her and ultimately to adore and admire her. She wanted to matter.

The little girl lived for many years in fear, fear of everything really, of making a mistake, of doing the wrong thing and upsetting the fragile balance that she and her adults lived on, afraid of not doing enough, of not being good enough, of being rejected, of an explosion within the house, afraid the adults would hurt one another, afraid the police would come, afraid the neighbors would hear....afraid that everyone would know how inadequate she really was. Her mind churned with all of the potential troubles that laid before her. If she worked hard enough she might be able to hold them off. 

The little girl grew into a woman and she had no idea what to do next, but she continued to try. She tried and tried and tried to find the answers that would make her life be filled with contentment and surety and calm. She worried endlessly....was she loving her children enough, was she doing *it* right, was she being a good enough wife? Surely everyone would see if they looked closely enough, that she didn't know what she was doing.

Finally, one day when things seemed as bad as they could get, one of her precious children was so broken and so sick...the girl simply gave up. She had done everything she knew to do to avoid such an outcome, but it happened anyway. Her heart was broken. Her best efforts had not been enough to protect those she loved the most from the troubles she feared the most.

It was at that point that Jesus Himself came and took the broken little girl into His arms and soothed her fears. He smoothed her hair back, He held her on His lap, and He told her it was all done now. From this point on He would be in charge. She didn't need to be afraid anymore. She could trust Him to do what she had not been able to. He assured her that it had never been His intention that she take care of everyone all by herself. She could never heal all the broken people.  It was never His will for her to fix a broken world. Her broken world. All He had ever wanted was for her to come to Him and to trust Him with all of it. She first had had to try though. He understood this. She had to come to the end of her own abilities before she would be able to receive all of the love and the care and the adoration that He had to give to her....His precious little girl. She had finally come full circle.

"I will always love you and keep you. Nothing you do will ever make me send you away."

Annette

11 comments:

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

So beautiful. I would love to share this, if you don't mind.

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful. It sounds like you are on your journey towards peace.

Anonymous said...

Wow, beautiful.

SoberMomRocks said...

This means so much to me. I was also that broken little girl. Once, while meditating on that little girl in me, I had a vision of Jesus coming to hold me, to wrap His arms around me and stroke my hair. The unconditional love I felt in that moment broke open something inside me and I cried and cried. And then I began to heal.

So many broken people in the world who have no idea of the depth of His love.

Namaste my friend.

Sherry

Anonymous said...

Annette
Thank you. That is exactly what I needed hear. Go bless you.

Lisa

Heather Harris said...

What a beautiful post. The extent of the Lord's grace toward us is so far-reaching! You so beautifully pointed that out. Such an encouragement. Thanks for sharing this :)

"...for He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we may boldly say: 'The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?'" -Hebrews 13:5-6

madyson007 said...

Are you gossiping about me again? I know that little girl personally.

Tori said...

Beautiful, simply beautiful.

Signe said...

Written with such a tender heart and hand. A resignation of your will to His. I hope all is well.

Mary said...

LOVE! The great thing about Jesus; is that no matter how broken you are, he can heal you. I'm really just learning and understanding that INSIDE. I said it out loud and in my head for years. But I couldn't FEEL it, until I forgave myself and started loving myself.

kerry said...

Beautifully said, Annette. Thank you for articulating brokenness and healing so honestly, for all of us.