Friday, February 15, 2013

And further more.....

 when our children do finally go in to get help, if they could have someone on the other side of the door who is trained in compassion, I would appreciate that. Someone who puts an arm around and leads them in to sit down and talk for a bit...someone who says,

"Come in and sit with me for a bit. Tell me your story. Any parts you want to or all of it. I have time to listen, don't hurry."....and then they listened. Then they ask pertinent questions like, "Once in the program do you have somewhere safe to stay? Somewhere where no one is using drugs or being mean to you? Your parents? Oh great....can we call them right now and set that up? I can help you to make the call if you can't do it on your own."

As treatment is begun it would be understood that this is a *sick* individual....physically and mentally and emotionally broken. Some of it is brought on by their own choices, some of it is a result of the drug use, and some of it is truly a chemical imbalance in their brains.....a brain disorder that is out of their control and not their fault. This young person who walked through their doors will NOT be able to do their program perfectly....but it will be established from the beginning that there will be many chances offered as long as honesty and willingness are still present. "We are here to work with you to show you how to get healthy. We will teach you the tools and you have to use them. Some days will be hard. Some MONTHS will be hard, really really hard, but if you keep coming back, if you keep working with us, we will keep working with you"


Last night at the class they talked about how mental illness is viewed so differently than physical illness....even by the medical professionals. My girl has never been delusional or psychotic due to her mental health issues. She is articulate and able to explain the deep depression and anxiety that cripple her life and make her return again and again to the numbness of drugs. She has not relapsed as far as I know  in the recent past so this raving and ranting is not about that. lol Its about how this trip to Monterey showed me that she truly does have emotional/mental issues. Its about learning that the information is out there, but you have to find it and then you have to find a dr who has found it too. Its been 11 years of doing this and we have asked for help so many times I can't remember them all and the bottom line is that we/she has not gotten it. We have always had health insurance. We have good jobs. We are regular people who pay their bills, have car insurance, cars that run, and we walk in put together, can carry on a conversation in a normal manner. Yet, we have been shuffled around, put off, brushed off, minimized, not taken seriously, ignored, given blatantly wrong information, all while our daughter suffered and proceeded to get sicker and sicker. All while we stood by watching and suffering our own pain.

Her own words recently...."They are lucky I'm not more fucking unstable or I would have killed myself already. " While waiting to be "allowed" into the dual dx program.

This should not be in this free country of abundance. And I am not talking about health care legislation....I don't think I am at least. I am talking about educated and compassionate health care workers who take action when you can't do it for yourself. Or who can tell you what to do next and have it be accurate and effective information.

So mad......
Annette


6 comments:

Tori said...

This made me cry. In light of what we are going through I get it. I spent hours and hours on the phone searching for help for B yesterday. Our insurance is not good and limits us so I will pay cash and a lot of it. This will once again put our family in financial turmoil even though we pay almost $1500.00 per month out of our pocket for health care. So I am ranting about our health care but most importantly could I just find someone who will listen to my son and help? I guess that is too much to ask. My son is close to giving up I can't.

beachteacher said...

Oh Annette - What you've written was so precisely accurate ! I couldn't have explained it any better. And yes - our family is as yours in all those ways you've described -... Yet I feel that we've been on such a roller coaster for so long - and that D hasn't always got the help he's needed - due to a lot of misunderstanding of him - at times. Other times - there have been many good people along the journey,..& D's reaction to them - and poor decisions despite them,...have not helped him progress to where he needs to be. But all that you've mentioned as wishes for our daughters & sons during their struggle - wouldn't it be great to have happen as the norm ? We can only keep praying & dream of it becoming reality.

Signe said...

My friend's mother was just admitted to a hospital for her heart. The heart monitor went off and my friend and her mother sat in the room for over five minutes while the monitor continued to beep. No one came until she went out to get someone, a nurse, who, argued with my friend, saying things like, we're busy, we can see things from here (nurses' station). A long story, but my friend was upset about the lack of compassion, and this was a regular hospital. What you've said about mental issues is even worse. Having dealt with both, I'm not too confident in the medical profession anymore. Very few really care, but you're critized if you get information on your own. I'm just glad that your daughter has had you to fight for her, as you have. I'm also glad she is not more unstable, and that she has hung on, despite the lack of compassion and understanding and skill of the 'professionals' who've been educated to help people in her position.

Anonymous said...

My 18 year old son is afflicted with anxiety depression/OCD and heroin addiction,he has been inpatient five times in the past year. The longest was 16 days thats all the insurance would pay for. I find these places were unequipped,uncaring and not helpful at all with ongoing follow up care. In other words you're on your own! One Hopitalization was in the psyche ward. He was suicidal they kept him so drugged up on multiple medications, after 9 days they discharged him and did not ever let me know.He left the hospital and showed up at home hours later high and all of his belongings gone.I called the hospitaland they said because he was 18 they did not have to inform me of his discharge! And the fight continues....I'm so lost but I keep fighting for him, I can't give up. Lisa

Syd said...

Something is really wrong with health care and I suspect a lot of it is the insurance companies whose bottom line matters more than the care part.

Prudential Life said...

Nice article. very interesting, thanks for sharing.