Today a momma told me the story of her son’s passing from an accidental overdose. It was such a sacred telling and my heart was so very touched. I listened while she recounted all of the details that she wanted to share with me, things that I won’t repeat here, but my heart, just hearing, was so broken for her. She bravely didn’t cry, time has softened the loss, that she can talk without crying now, she can be happy that her beautiful boy is “free,” but my eyes overflowed.
When we went to leave each other’s company, we hugged and I thanked her for sharing her story with me. I told her it was not something that I heard and took in lightly. It was sacred, something so precious, and I wanted her to know that I cherished the telling of it, I cherished her broken mom’s heart and I was holding it gently in mine.
She thanked me for “letting” her talk about it. She said, “Sometimes I just need to re-tell that story and have it be heard again.”
After we were apart, I thought about that. We all want to be heard. Something so simple, but so universal. We want our hurts, our struggles, our fears, our experiences, to be heard and to be seen. We want to share our burdens, our brokenness, to let someone help us to carry the pain and the weight of our burdens. We want to help other’s to carry theirs. There is something said in my program about this….”Talk to each other, reason things out together.”
I am sure that is why I started blogging. I had to get all of this OUT and I had to share it and to have my vast well of feelings be seen and heard and acknowledged. Its why we hire therapists… we need to be heard. In the telling sometimes we can put the pieces together. We can begin to make sense of what has stricken our spirits in the most unexpected of ways.
The most beautiful thing is that to listen is so simple. We don’t have to have any answers. We can just listen and hear and hold space with one another….and that is enough. Human beings aren’t meant to go through life alone, carrying their sorrow and concerns by themselves. We are meant to live in communion with each other. Is it scary to let people in? To share your most broken and fragile parts with another and risk being judged, being seen as less than all that you wanted to be, to have those we love the most be seen as less than we had planned and dreamed of? Sometimes, yes it is.
In my experience, there is something about being vulnerable that disarms people. More times than not, it creates a space where they too can be vulnerable and honest. Someone has to take that initial big leap into the deep water and be the one to lay their story out there. To let other’s know its safe here and they aren’t alone. And neither are we. Each of us are not alone in our journey’s.
Bless us all, these mother’s and father’s hearts who yearn for their children’s healing and wholeness.